Bernard Marr

Do you just drink a cup of whatever’s brewing in the break room, or do you have to stop at the hippest, fanciest corner coffee shop for a carefully timed pour-over for your morning brew?

According to science, what you order up for your coffee break says a lot about your personality.

Clinical psychologist Dr. Ramani Durvasula conducted an observational study of 1,000 coffee drinkers, which he reported in his book, You Are WHY You Eat,  and I’ve “interpreted” his results in regards to common workplace personalities.

Black, brewed coffee: The middle manager

If you order your coffee black — and just plain coffee, thanks, none of this frou-frou stuff — you’re likely to be no-nonsense and straightforward. Obviously, they like to keep things simple. They can also sometimes be moody and set in their ways. They tend to be good with money and have professional jobs. According to the study, being abrupt and dismissive were also common traits — which is why that plain cup of Joe puts me in mind of an old-school middle manager.

Latte: The office yes! man

People who drink lattes tended to be people pleasers, and more neurotic than their black coffee counterparts. They’re always happy to go out of their way to please others, but don’t necessarily take very good care of themselves. They can be indecisive, and actually like having other people tell them what to do.  They are good at remaining calm and supportive in the workplace.

Cappuccino: The art director

Like the drink itself, cappuccino people tend to be bubbly and lighthearted. They are warm, affectionate, and creative. They also tend to be passionate about their work, honest, and motivated. And while they make excellent friends, they tend to run with their own crowd, associating with other imaginative, creative people.

Mocha: The office flirt

You know the one: the guy or gal who is always falling in or out of love. They tend to be affectionate and compassionate, but also unreliable and have difficulty with commitment. They’re the ones always found in the break room or by the water cooler, looking for someone with whom to swap stories of their latest romantic endeavors — and they are chronic flirts.

Decaf with Soy Milk: The picky executive

These people tend to be high-maintenance. Only his executive assistant knows exactly how he likes his drinks (decaf double shot soy, extra hot with extra foam), and everyone must expend a lot of effort to please him. They can be picky to a fault and uncomfortable trying new things or thinking outside the established box. They come across as self-righteous and self-centered, and are at least as dreaded by their coworkers as their beleaguered baristas.

Frappuccino: The receptionist

People who order Frappuccinos and other sweet, flavored concoctions tend to be very fashionable and friendly. They are outgoing, adventurous, and courageous. They tend to be extroverted and love people — the perfect person to man the front desk. However, they can also sometimes need a reality check and can be reckless.

Of course, you could be a CEO with a sweet spot for Frappuccinos just as easily as you could be a creative art director who loves plain black coffee. As the study’s author said, “We are no more defined by our coffee orders than we are by our astrological signs.”

What do you think? Does your coffee personality ring true for you, or does this seem like no more than a hill of beans?


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