Trust is essential for any kind of interpersonal relationship, be it a friendship or a relationship – it should serve as the foundation for a durable and strong connection that transcends the time barrier. Trust is incredibly difficult to earn and very easy to lose, and you cannot possibly have any serious connection with a person unless you trust them. However, one thing is for sure: while some people come off as trustworthy from the first minute you see them, others may be a bit shady and give you strong reasons to doubt their honesty. If you do not want to waste your time with somebody who is not worthy of your attention and your honesty, then here are some of the signs that should trigger an alarm and raise some question marks:
- He/She Suddenly Cancels Plans
Have you been planning that special night out for the entire week, only to be told by your girlfriend or boyfriend that something came up? Does he or she blow off your plans without actually giving you a strong reason for it? On one hand, the chances are that the person in question is simply unreliable, not necessarily dishonest – on the other hand, you should always consider the possibility that he or she is lying to you, especially if there are some weird excuses involved. Trustworthy, honest and reliable people never act shady and they never wait until the last minute to cancel plans, unless it is something very serious – if it is not, then it should get you thinking!
- He/She Simply “Forgets” To Mention Something
There are two types of lies: the deliberate lie, where somebody lies to you on purpose hoping that the truth would never come to light, and the “white lies” where somebody simply leaves out pieces of information, only to put the blame on you later on for not asking more about it. Not only is this a sign that somebody is not trustworthy, but it is also quite disrespectful and downright offensive – in the end, if somebody conveniently “forgets” an important detail, it means that they are really toying with your nerves and patience, and they are not worthy of your time or trust.
- He/She Avoids Talking On The Phone When You Are Around
This is one of the most obvious signs that a person should not be trusted. Of course, there are some people who treasure their privacy and who love to keep some personal matters to themselves, but if you have a close friend or a boyfriend/girlfriend who always leaves the room when the phone rings, that should trigger an alarm. We all have personal matters to attend to, and we all have the right not to share personal information with anybody else, unless we really feel like it – and that is perfectly fine, as long as you do not make a big fuss out of it. Leaving the room whenever the phone rings is a red flag – besides, the same principle applies to people whose phones are password-protected.
Sometimes, we need to use passwords to protect our PIN codes and other personal information, but if a person has a password on absolutely every folder, including the messages and the media files, then that may as well be a sign that he/she is hiding something and perhaps it is time for a serious talk. Ultimately, there is a thin line between being paranoid and trusting somebody blindly, only to figure out later on that you have been taken for granted.
- Always Look For Inconsistencies
Truth will always prevail – sometimes it takes hours, other times it takes years for the truth to come to light, but eventually it will. Have you noticed one or more inconsistencies in the stories your friend or lover told you? Have you always wanted to confront him/her about them, yet you never had the courage to do it, thinking that perhaps it is all in your mind and you should simply let them slip? Truth be told, even the most “skilled” deceptive people sometimes overlook one or two inconsistencies in their stories, as it is very hard to keep track of a lie, especially if it is a rather complex one. All you have to do is to simply pay close attention to what they have to say and to immediately confront them about things that do not add up, no matter how hard you would try to explain them.
- People Who Reply To Your Texts Hours After You Have Sent Them Are Usually Not To Be Trusted
This is not necessarily an obvious tell-tale sign that a person is not trustworthy, but it should get you thinking – especially if that particular person is always using his/her smart phone or tablet when you are around. There is nothing more annoying and bothersome than having to wait for hours for a text, only to realize that the sender has not even bothered to use full sentences. If somebody needs hours to text you back or to answer to your messages on Whatsapp, Viber and all the other chatting apps, there are two rational explanations for this: he or she is either very busy, or you are simply not his/her priority, which means that you need to reconsider your own priorities before giving somebody like that too much credit.
- Pay Attention To Those Who Are Always Up For A Flirt
Some people simply cannot help it no matter how hard they try, and they flirt with other people whenever they get the chance to. If your date or your spouse is constantly talking to other people and they tell you it is nothing but a mere chat, that should also raise a red flag – this does not mean that you need to get paranoid about every new friend of your spouse’s, it just means that you should keep your eyes open and look for those small yet essential signs that might give them away. Same applies to those who check out other people when you are around, even if they try to do it discretely – that is not just very disrespectful, but it is also an obvious sign that the one you are with does not deserve your trust.