Posted: 04/23/2015 1:50 pm EDT Updated: 04/23/2015 1:59 pm EDT
HUFF POST WOMEN
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That moment when you wake up, you sit up in bed, stretch, swing your feet to the floor and BANG! There is your ball and chain clasped to your ankle…
Being in a relationship shouldn’t be a workout for you — or your ankles. Dead-end relationships are more popular than working marriages because they are easy and can be discarded quickly. Young adults find it easy to mistake a dead-end relationship for a “friends with benefits” scenario. At the end of the day, they are one and the same, because they’re going nowhere.
I was in a dead-end relationship for nearly two and a half years, but eventually, it led me in the right direction to a positive life with someone else. Here are some signs I ignored before finally understanding my relationships demise:
- You’re bored.
No matter what the two of you do, if other people aren’t involved, you are bored out of your skull and staring at the same Instagram feed you looked at two minutes before.
- You’re way ahead.
When you’re busier in life, moving up in the world and gaining success left and right, you’ll look around and find that person is nowhere to be found. When they’re sitting on the couch pouting that his/her life is going nowhere, this will probably not change anytime soon and you will only slow your progress if you try to waste time encouraging them every day to catchup with you.
- Everything they do makes you scoff.
They can’t make an egg sandwich correctly. They put the toilet paper roll on the holder wrong. Or, if they breathe too loud — here’s your sign — you cannot stand them!
- You enjoy the company of others more
If you enjoy conversations or interactions with other singles more than with your partner, this is a sign that you are going nowhere further with your relationship and the thought of new engagements sound better.
This should go without saying.
- Intimacy? Yack!
If being intimate with them makes you queasy or is more of a chore, it’s time to break up and hop on Tinder.
- You’re back on dating websites
If you have downloaded Tinder or restarted your Match profile, you clearly are looking for something better than what you have.
- You claim to be “busy” when they want to see you.
That moment when “let’s hang out,” or “can I come over” texts send you into a lying fit. You come up with any possible excuse that will get you out of spending time with them — even accepting overtime at work sounds better at this point.
- Marriage and children with them? No way!
If you know that your relationship will not lead to your version of a lifelong happy ending (non-sexual happy ending!), it’s time to find another partner.
- You feel like their adoptive parent
If you do more for them than you do for yourself, it’s time to make yourself a priority and let them fall (far down) to the wayside.
- You don’t care what they do.
You go out and flirt, they go out and flirt, you both go out together and flirt with other people in front of each other… all signs you’re more of friends than partners. Relationships shouldn’t exist when there is no partnership.
- You had sexual relations before taking the time to get to know each other.
Every partnership needs both an emotional and physical connection to really stick together; one without the other leads to a lot of questions, judgments and miscommunication, which leads both people to a dead-end.
- There is no ‘next step’ for your relationship.
When your friends ask you what your next step is with your partner and you have no response or simply haven’t thought about it, there’s a large possibility it’s because neither of you have talked about it, or you have not thought about it. Being complacent is not always a good thing.
- When you have to wonder if you’re at a dead-end.
If you’re questioning the end of your relationship or its outcome, it is a good time to just move on.
So basically, if in doubt… it might be time to get out!!!
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